The Place That Built Me

I went back to work this summer. For the first time since Sophie's birth, I navigated the waters of working mom - for three months. And among the things that surprised me was an overwhelming feeling of closure. It had been three years since I had worked at NW Natural, and that included a year of working at George Fox before Sophie was born. I had no lingering thoughts of needing closure. No issues to resolve, no strong desire to continue a career. I went back for the money. Period. And even then, there were tear-filled days where the money didn't seem nearly enough reason. But towards the end of the three months, something strange occurred. I'd drive into Portland, enter the parking garage across the street from my office, and like clockwork the same song would come on the radio. I found it oddly amusing at first. Can't the country radio stations around here come up with a little more variety? But after about four times of this happening, I finally stopped and listened. And then cried. You see, sometime during my journey back to work I'd felt something that I couldn't label. Maybe my stubborn "I'm proud of being a stay-at-home mom" attitude wasn't letting me acknowledge it. Coming back had changed me. Or maybe, it was the opposite. Maybe coming back had reminded me of how much motherhood had changed me. And in the process, some of those nagging questions stay-at-home moms have to to face were answered. (Do I have value beyond changing diapers and wiping noses? Do I still have what it takes to do this job well? And more specifically for me - do I still have the confidence to step in front of a large group of construction men and instruct, organize and delegate?) What a blessing it was to face those questions head on, prove that I can still do it, and then gracefully let go and slip back into mommyland. But above all that...above the proving my value to society beyond the four walls of my own house...I realized that coming back was a source of healing for me. You see, NW Natural is, in a way, my home. My dad has worked there for over 30 years. It is where I have grown up - both as a young girl accompaning my father on "Bring Your Daughter to Work Days" to an adult learning how to make a name for myself beyond "Charlie's Dauther". It is where I learned to assert myself, challenge others' opinions, and establish a voice of authority. That one company is a significant source of my growth as an employee and a confident woman. Leaving work to become a mom changed me. But leaving NW Natural left wounds that only coming back "home" could mend.

The House That Built Me
*excerpt from song by Miranda Lambert

I thought if I could touch this place or feeling
This brokenness inside me might start healing
Out here it's like I'm someone else
I thought that maybe I could find myself
If I could walk around I swear I'll leave
Won't take nothing but a memory
From the house that built me

You leave home and you move on and you do the best you can
I got lost in this old world and forgot who I am

Gym Classes

Sophie's been taking gym classes at the Little Gym in Lake Oswego this fall, and she LOVES it! It's been so fun to watch her confidence build as she interacts with the other kids and try new skills. She also really loves her teacher and will do anything for her. (When I ask her if she wants to try something, it's "no" about half the time, but for Teacher Angela, she'd scale a mountain!).

More of Judy's Visit

Mt Hood Railroad

Sophie got to run the bases after the Mariners game!

I couldn't resist posting this one.... since when did she turn into a girl that wants to pose for the camera??!! Love it!

Fully drenched after an exciting jet boat tour of the Willamette. I swear she liked it. Really.

We can't wait for Grandma Berry to visit again soon!

Quote of the day

The weather here has been absolutely beautiful lately, but just a few days ago the temperature dropped quite a bit, and with pre-season football on in the background, I grabbed a sweatshirt and suddenly felt quite excited about the return of fall. It is by far my favorite time of year. And so, when I read this quote the other day, it instantly spoke to me and I felt compelled to share....

"For the man sound in body and serene of mind there is no such thing as bad weather; every day has its beauty, and storms which whip the blood do but make it pulse more vigorously."
~ George Gissing

Grandma Visits

Tim's mom came out to visit earlier this month, and we filled the nine days with lots of fun activities. Day one was a trip out to Newport to see the aquarium... Sophie's first time. It was crazily crowded, and not as much of a hit all around as we were hoping for, but it was a good start to our touristy week.
More stories and pictures of Judy's visit coming soon....

4th of July

We had a low key 4th of July as Sophie was just getting over being sick. Went to the St Paul parade in the morning and saw lots of horses - Sophie was thrilled. Then home for a nap and back to my parents house in Canby for a barbeque and to watch fireworks from their front porch. As you can see, she wasn't very happy about sitting still for the fireworks, much less a picture. But we had a great time and loved spending it with family.

Out and About

We've been up to a lot this summer, but on a few of the outings we actually took pictures. :) One of the trips was hiking at Silver Creek Falls, and then we were fortunate enough to spend a weekend at the beach with our friends the Harris'. We have so much fun experiencing these adventures through Sophie's eyes! Here are some pictures...

Sophie and Halle

Andy and Janel brought along their game of dingleberry, and Tim and I decided to play. We tied, then Tim beat me in sudden death... of course. :) That's pretty much how it always happens!